


lovesick

by FxckingTommo91



Category: The Ultimate Sidemen
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Bad Writing, Bottom Simon, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Fanfiction, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gay Panic, M/M, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Smut, Some Plot, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, World Travel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-20
Updated: 2020-06-20
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:33:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 12,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24292123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FxckingTommo91/pseuds/FxckingTommo91
Summary: when jj is offered travelling the world with his best friends for 6 months he sees no reason to say no, but he soon realises there can't be good without bad in life.
Relationships: Harry Lewis/Simon Minter, Simon Minter/Olajide "JJ" Olatunji
Comments: 6
Kudos: 40





	1. idiots & airports

chapter one: idiots & airports

location: london, england

date: 29th of may

✁ ✁ ✁

jj didn't really know why or how he'd been roped into this.

somehow, he was standing inside of luton airport, a large suitcase next to him, eyeing the place to find his friends.

it was pretty easy spotting the group of rowdy boys, all sat on their suitcases in a circle as if they were in scouts camp.

jj scoffed, watching them cheer and laugh as they played a simple game of rock paper scissors.

losers.

for a second, jj glanced at the exit, he could get an uber to pick him up in a just few minutes and go back home. he didn't have to go through with this.

that was until, "jj!" a familiar voice called happily.

jj considered his fate sealed.

the man spun around reluctantly, his tall friend half-skipping up to him in excitement, embracing him in a hug. "hello, simon." he greeted, trying not to sound too miserable.

"are you excited? because i am!" simon squeaked out, all giddy and jittery.

jj figured he was a lot different to simon, maybe a bit more introverted, or just somewhat antisocial.

simon was enchanted by the concept of spending the next six months with his best friends, travelling the world: but jj was just doubtful, spending more than 3 hours with those guys was tiring, so six months sounded a tiny bit dreadful. he wanted to be able to have his own alone time, peace and quiet, of course that wouldn't be possible sharing a room with one of those idiots; jj just prayed he was roommates with josh.

"yeah im gassed, man." jj smiled, contemplating kicking simon and bolting out as fast as he could.

the blonde just looked at him skeptically, dressed very comfortably in a hoodie and tracksuit bottoms, "yeah, you sure sound like it. where are the others? i'd like to see the good vibes now, please."

jj glared, pointing to the group "they're over there."

"ayyyy!" simon cheered, running up to the group, jj slowly trailing behind him.

the group hollered excitedly, welcoming the boys into the group. jj cringed at the scene they were making, and he thought he was the loud one..

he recalled when josh had originally pitched the idea to him and rest of the boys. touring around the world for 6 months, just the 7 of them. he hated it.

stupid, too expensive, and a waste of time, he thought. apparently no one agreed with him, though. everybody else loved the idea, campaigning it until it was official and somehow jj had been caught up in the mix.

he blamed simon, frankly. the stupid asshole was begging him to come, telling jj he wouldn't go if jj didn't go - jj finalised that neither of them would go then, but simon started giving him puppy eyes and sad pouts whenever he saw him.

eventually, jj found himself paypaling josh his share of the money.

check-in time for the flight was in a few hours, so the group found themselves hanging around for a bit; jj caught himself zoning out a lot, perhaps thinking about all the bad decisions he had made in his life to lead up to this. he wouldn't be able to tell you what the group was talking about for the last hour, but he knew it was probably something stupid.

"yo, jj what do you think?" tobi had asked him, snapping jj out of his daydreaming.

jj didn't have a single idea what he was being asked, but he didn't really care either, so he settled for a, "well, i um- agree with harry on this one, lads."

harry punched the air in victory, "i told you fuckers that niall was the superior member of one direction!"

"you niall stans are so blind," vik scoffed at him, "blind to the pure beauty and excellence of louis."

"alright, alright, guys there's no need to argue here.." josh settled the matter, and jj almost sighed in relief, but, "i think we can all agree that zayn carried that band for years, some say his back still hurts to this day.."

this caused quite the uproar, jj presumed this must be quite a heated topic, so he thought it was best to keep his disgusting solo harry stan opinions to himself. he couldn't help but notice simon though, not saying much but laughing along and smiling at his friends lovingly.

he always had thought simon was quite soft around the edges and cute, a touch more feminine than the rest, he liked him for this though. jj supposed if anything, he should do this for him, this should be a fun experience for the most part, and if not at least simon would be enjoying himself.

whilst they were going through security and baggage drop, josh explained a few things to the group, or the best he could to 7 short-attention-spanned dumbasses. at least jj was half-listening.

josh clarified that they would be going to a long list of cities that jj was not even going to try to remember, staying at each destination for roughly two weeks, and that at each place they booked 4 rooms, 3 two-bedded rooms and one singular.

this sparked another argument between the boys.

there was huge demand for the singular room, everybody giving reasons as to why they should get the single. for example, ethan said he wouldn't be able to masturbate while sharing a room, vik tried to pay the others guys off for the room, and jj demanded that whoever wanted the room would have to fight him first.

however, it concluded to josh receiving the room on his own after he reasoned that he organised the whole thing. plus, he floored jj.

they were then faced with the task of deciding who they would be roommates with for the next 6 months. jj had tried to ask why they couldn't just switch around but was simultaneously told to shut the fuck up. 

"im calling vik!" harry had scrambled out quickly, earning a side-hug from the smaller boy.

simon and tobi glanced at eachother and nodded in mutual agreement, simon started "i think that me and tobi should-"

this led to jj and ethan meeting eyes in fear, "looks like me and sim-"

"-so tobi!" they both blurted.

tobi frowned, "sorry ethan, i think i wanted to be with si-"

ethan threw his arm around the smaller boy, pulling him away from simon, "no you don't, silly! you definitely said in the car earlier that you wanted to be with me, remember?"

simon turned around to face jj, who just shrugged his shoulders. "eh, what can you do? guess it's me and you babes."

"im not sure if im gonna enjoy this trip anymore," the blonde huffed, "and don't call me that either."

"aww, no need to be like that, babes!"

✁ ✁ ✁


	2. exploring & coffee shops

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> me living out my vintage coffee shop fantasy

chapter two: exploring & coffee shops

location: stockholm, sweden

date: 31st of may

✁ ✁ ✁

jj wasn't enjoying it at all.

he'd only been on this holiday for two days, but he already knew it was a big mistake, he knew it was a mistake as soon as he stepped on that plane too.

sure, having the pleasure of travelling all around the world was exciting and quite privileged, but jj couldn't handle spending the next half of the year trapped in a routine.

the routine was simple really, get up at 10, breakfast at 10:30, go out at 11:00, come back to the hotel at 19:00, go to sleep at 23:00.

they'd spend their days either going to some meet-and-greet or following a tour guide around the city. jj despised it.

he wanted to be spontaneous. he wanted to be able to go wherever he wanted, whenever he wanted. he wanted to explore the world freely, not following a stupid tour guide and an overexcited josh.

jj could not even begin to comprehend how the other guys were enjoying it so much. they were skipping around from boring destination to even more boring destination merrily, practically holding eachother's hands.

it was cute, jj supposed, but dumb. although that did sum up most of the boys quite well in general.

perhaps, he was just little more detached from the group then the rest. maybe, he was a little more of an outsider. jj thought this couldn't be true though, at times he was the heart and soul of the group.

at one point, jj hit rock bottom when he debated either booking a plane ticket back to london, or having an emotional breakdown, crying in the cheese isle of the swedish-version of tescos.

however, people seem to work best when their back is against the wall : so, that's when jj came up with masterminded, brilliant conclusion of, fuck the rules.

jj decided that he wasn't going to be following a lovely, swedish man named jüergen around the city any longer. if he was going to explore, he was going to do it right.

he would like a partner to keep him company, though.

jj spectated his friends; josh would be appalled by the idea of breaking the plan, harry might do something stupid and die, vik would probably snitch on him, tobi may not want to upset josh, and ethan,, well jj and ethan being stuck together was not the best idea.

that left simon; jj considered simon to be a worthy exploration companion.

"psssst." jj hissed at simon, whilst the group was stood still appreciating an artefact.

simon opted to ignore him. "pssst!" he repeated, louder. this time, the blonde just looked at him.

"what are you fucking deaf? psssssst!" he snapped, poking his friend in the ribs.

"ow!" simon glared, "what- what do you want?"

jj grabbed his hand in his own, dragging him away from the group. simon tried to protest, but jj had slapped another hand over his mouth, he wasn't sure if this was some sort of surprise, or a forceful kidnapping.

"where are you taking me?" simon asked, voice muffled, "please don't kill me, my dad has money, i swear." he joked.

jj released his hand from simon's mouth, continuing to pull him away, "we're going exploring."

"huh? what if we get lost or something?" the blonde questioned, apprehensively.

jj shrugged, "don't care lol."

"did- did you just 'lol' out loud? also do you even have any money on you? what if we die? what if we get robbed-"

jj slapped his hand back over simon's mouth, "stop with all the questions. this isn't an icarly q&a. just relaaaax, baby."

simon licked his palm, making the other boy cringe and frantically rub it off on his joggers. "gross. i am really thinking of revoking your privileges of being my exploration companion right now, y'know!"

"boo-hoo. im shaken to my very core by the thought of that." the taller boy retorted, sarcasm dripping in his words.

"knew i should've brung tobi.." jj muttered under his breath.

after walking for a few moments, simon spotted a cute coffee shop, suddenly feeling quite thirsty.

he went to point at the shop, only to realise jj was still holding his hand.

simon blushed, slipping his hand out of jj's hold to gesture at the shop, "can we go to that coffee shop? please, im thirsty."

jj saw no reason to disagree, plus simon's begging eyes were a new level of convincing. "of course." he smiled.

the shop was vintage and artsy, with a wooden exterior and jj was glad their staff could speak english, because that would of been an awkward interaction.

"i'll have a vanilla latte." simon orders to the blue-haired barista, who was staring almost in awe at him, "and you?"

"just a water, please."

the older boy scoffed, "he'll have a caramel latte."

jj raised his eyebrows at the other, "no, no, a water, please."

"so a vanilla latte and a caramel latte, that is, sir?" the barista concluded, smiling up at the other boy.

"no, what the fuck, a water!"

"yes, thank you." simon grinned back at her, his charm was a bitch.

the blue-haired lady went to the back to make the drinks, whilst jj tried to attack his friend.

she hastily returned with two drinks on a tray, a little confused as to why the blonde was rubbing the back of his head in pain. "your total is €7, sir."

simon looked at jj expectantly, "go on then."

"what. the. actual. fuck." jj was shocked and disgusted. "you won't even let me order what i want to order, and now, now you're expecting me to pay?!"

simon just shrugged, "should've took tobi."

the smaller boy narrowed his eyes, prepared to throw hands.

"sir, if you're refusing to pay i may have to call the police.."

jj stumbled back in pure shock, "call the police?! what? i- i'm gonna faint."

"sir.." the barista glanced back at the phone behind her.

"im paying, im paying!" jj screeched, watching the woman flinch when he pulled out his wallet, "will you chill for two seconds? i am the victim here."

jj inserted his credit card into the card machine, giving a death glare to simon, making sure to push his pin numbers on the keypad extra aggressively.

once they got their drinks, the blonde boy guided him into a booth in the corner of the shop.

he started laughing hysterically. 

jj kicked his shin underneath the table, "why are you laughing, you prick?"

"th-that was the funniest shit i've ever seen!" simon cackled, holding his stomach in laughter.

the other boy huffed, sinking down into his seat, "that was not funny."

"i- i cant believe i've finessed myself a free drink!" he giggled, rather cutely.

jj let a hint of a smile appear on his face, continuing to sulk, "there's nothing amusing about blackmail."

simon wheezed, "and- and then she tried to call the police! it was so fucking hilarious."

jj snorted, "maybe, in some perspectives, there were a few comedic aspects to the events that happened."

he sipped on his non-consented caramel latte. it was actually really good. 

simon smiled brightly, eyes glistening in happiness, "im sorry, jide."

jj figured he could snap at his friend right now in annoyance, but he liked looking at the sparkles in his pretty blue eyes. "don't be, it was fuckin' hilarious."

the blonde boy broke off into giggles again and jj just smiled to himself.

maybe, the holiday wouldn't be so bad after all..

✁ ✁ ✁

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leave kudos or i will stamp on your apples >:(


	3. jealousy & jokes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jj being a jealous hoe

chapter three: jealousy & jokes  
location: moscow, russia  
date: 15th of june

✁ ✁ ✁

maybe jj had judged the trip a little too quickly. 

he started to enjoy his time more when he was having fun with his friends, seeing all the beautiful sights of the world. after getting over some homesickness, jj was loving the mornings waking up in a different bed, simon often just coming out of the shower, drying his hair. he enjoyed that too.

although he would never admit it, jj knew that simon was the only one keeping him going. there wasn't a lot of reason to miss home when you had your best friend by your side.

jj had managed to steal simon away from the group everyday, for their own exploration time; it began with jj forcefully dragging him with him, but now simon would just ask him where they would be going today. 

he almost felt selfish about it, barely allowing the others any time with simon on their days out - almost. 

jj didn't feel that bad for simon though, he would have to deal with his possessiveness, it came in contract of being his best friend.

this day, the group had found themselves in moscow, walking around the beautiful city and snapping pictures of the magnificent landmarks from the disposable cameras around their necks. 

josh and simon were gazing in front of the group, muttering remarks to eachother as they looked around; they appeared picture-perfect next to eachother, maybe a scene you'd see in a painting. 

meanwhile, at the back of the group, jj was co-ersed into the extremely, meaningful conversations of harry and ethan. 

"harry, lad, im telling you justin bieber isn't a secret lizard!" ethan gushed, not entertained by his friend's talk of conspiracy theories. 

"it's alright, ethan." the other boy smiled sympathetically, patting ethan's back, "i understand that you are still living in the lies that boris is tellin' ya. you're a sheep in the herd, my friend."

the older boy looked at him in disbelief, slapping the back of his head, "w-what the fuck are you talking about?! are you deluded?" 

harry winced, rubbing his head, "look mate, all im saying is i saw the pictures, those eyes were not human!"

"alright then, what do you think about this bullshit, jj?" ethan asked, turning his head to the older boy.

jj sighed, he really didn't want to be involved in this. "they're real. i would know i am one." he winked, growling at the end. 

copious amounts of fear flooded harry's eyes, he quickly moved from his place inbetween the boys to behind ethan, using him as a human shield. 

"i knew it, i always thought he was odd!" the blonde exclaimed. 

jj rolled his eyes, praying for someone to ring him or just take him away. 

"hey, jj, can you come here for sec, please?" simon called, smiling and waving sweetly. 

my saviour, jj thought. 

quickly, he jogged towards the older boys, who were stood infront of some particularly fascinating architecture. 

"can we get a picture, please?" the blonde requested, giving him pleading eyes once more. 

"yeah of course, babes." jj grinned, thinking it was cute that simon wanted a photo with him.

"great, thanks!" 

jj went to stand in front of the building and pose, until josh handed him a camera. "oh, you- you meant a picture of you and josh?" he laughed out in slight pain.

"haha, yeah. sorry, i'll get one with you after if you want?" simon offered, chuckling at him. 

a bit bitter, the other breathed out, "no, that's fine."

"you sure?" josh questioned, "i can take it for you guys, i'm a master photographer."

"no, no, don't worry about it."

he watched as his friend's posed up for the photo, simon jumping on josh's back, both with big smiles on their faces, jj captured the moment in a lovely candid. 

damn, he thought, i wish i was that photogenic. 

after witnessing that with a splash of jealousy, jj figured it must be time for his and simon's mini expedition. 

"you ready to go?" he breathed, pulling simon away from josh a little. 

the blonde seemed genuinely confused, "go where?"

"you know? to- um- to adventure.." he huffed out, gritting his teeth, "on our own." he added.

"oh shit! sorry, i forgot! but m' actually enjoying spending time with josh right now.. i can join you later, if you'd like?" simon explained, trying to let him down in the easiest way possible.

the younger boy frowned a little, "oh.. yeah totally, i get you."

simon put his hands on his shoulders, "bro, don't be like that! just join me and josh."

jj stepped back, "no, i'm really having fun with- uh- vik right now, i was actually sad to leave him." 

"vik? but you weren't even talking to him?" the blonde looked at him skeptically with narrowed eyes.

"sure i was, you just didn't see! i was having a great time with him, he really cracks me up!" jj exaggerated, "all those, those puns they just make me cackle. he's waaaay funnier than you!"

simon smiled confusedly, also walking away, "o-okay then. i- i better let you get back to him then?" 

"yep, m' glad!"

the boys went their separate ways, simon heading back to josh and jj accompanying vik and tobi. 

"quick, vik, say something funny!" he urged to the smaller boy. 

"hah?" tobi screeched, "jj are you sure? this could be catastrophic.."

"yes, vik just tell me a joke!"

vik sweated under pressure, "okay, okay! a-a horse walked into a bar, what did he say?"

"what?" they asked in unison. 

"ow! d'you get it? cause' he walked into a bar?" 

tobi frowned in deep disappointment, but jj just started laughing hysterically. "oh my god!" he shouted loud enough so simon could hear him, "vik you're soooo hilarious!"

✁ ✁ ✁

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> conclusion: i want to go to russia


	4. pizza & piggybacks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *uwus in italian*

chapter four: pizza & piggybacks   
location: capri island, italy   
date: 30th of june

✁ ✁ ✁

jj was missing simon. 

this time he wasn't ashamed to admit it either, he missed his best friend. for the past week, simon had been mainly hanging out with the other boys- if he wasn't with josh he was with harry, and if he wasn't with harry he was with tobi. 

jj hadn't been able to go on a mini adventure with him in all this time too; he felt like a child deprived of sweets. 

sure, spending time with the other boys was always fun, but jj just felt a bit empty when simon wasn't by his side. 

all of the group were walking along the pier in split groups, the sun glowing brightly and the sea washing gently against the sand below. 

jj and tobi walked quietly next to eachother, both enjoying the view, whereas simon and harry were a few metres ahead of them. 

he watched as simon chatted to harry, then laughed at something he said. jj's eyebrows furrowed, why did he want to be the only person to make him laugh? 

jj hated his stupid face too, he hated that adorable smile and sparkling blue eyes; he hated how it made his heart skip a beat. 

but, he felt that as nothing more than friends, obviously. 

"jj, you alright there, mate?" tobi asked, waving his hand in front of the other's face. jj snapped out of his thoughts, raising an eyebrow at him. "you seem to be sending intense death glares to simon." 

"yeah," the older laughed, swinging his arm round tobi's shoulders, "i was just thinking about how- uh, how ugly he is." 

"right." tobi spoke, looking him up and down skeptically. 

josh interrupted the moment, calling everyone across the street to a traditional, italian cafe to have lunch.

inside the cafe was a large, circular table that everyone rushed to sit on, considering there was only 6 chairs. simon ended up looking over the other guys on the table with crossed arms.

"damn," the blonde boy sulked, frown prominent on his face, "where am i going to sit?"

"simon, wanna come sit with me?" josh asked, pointing to a table-for-two near by.

simon grinned, seeming as if he was going to say yes: jj, though, thought about his two friends having even more alone time and decided he couldn't allow it. 

jj tilted so his legs were behind simon, placed his hands on his waist and pulled him down in one quick motion to sit him on his lap. 

immediately, simon squeaked and went to stand back up, but jj's strong arms around  
his torso were holding him down. 

"ah, jj! what are you doing?" the blonde squealed, trying to tear his arms off, failing nevertheless. 

the other boy bounced him up and down on his lap like he was a little kid, hugging simon's small frame into his chest with his muscular arms. "you can sit here instead, babe." 

giving up on trying to escape, simon just huffed, "okay, but i think a chair would be nicer."

"mmm okay if you say so." jj chuckled, smirking. he released his hold on him, and whilst simon went to get another chair, made space next to him on the table.

he brought his attention back to the other boys, who he had forgotten were even there, observing him strangely; jj just shrugged.

simon had ordered a pasta off the menu, which came out as a particularly small dish; he scoffed as the other guys ate their huge pizzas. 

"why? why are you looking at me like that?" ethan snapped, feeling uncomfortable at the eyes watching him devour his food. 

simon stared intently at his margherita pizza, "your pizza.. it's looks.. nice" he hummed, tongue darting to wet his lips. 

"oh really, you think so?" the other mocked, stuffing another slice into his mouth teasingly, provoking a glare from simon. 

scowling, the blonde moved forward in his chair, "yeah, i wonder how many calories is in it.."

ethan flinched, but then recovered laughing menacingly: he hissed, "i bet you'd like to know, you certainly need them."

"woah, woah, woah," josh deterred, blocking simon, who seemed like he was about to lunge for the other boy, "calm it right there, muscle man." 

"it's like i'm watching an in real life snickers advert," harry snickered from the other end of the table, "this man is not him when he's hungry."

"simon," tobi quipped, holding his plate in the air, "you can have the rest of mine, i'm stuffed anyways." 

jj felt another spike of envy surge through his veins, he fixed his hand on top of simon's "no, no, have mine!" he insisted. 

the blonde cringed at the awful pineapple and spinach concoction on jj's plate, pulling his lips into a straight line, "suddenly i'm full."

"eat it before i force feed you, ungrateful bitch." 

simon ended up eating the pizza. and gagging twice. 

✁ ✁ ✁

"i'm tired!" simon moaned, trailing behind jj sluggishly. 

the other boy turned around, narrowing his eyes at his friend, he pursed his lips, "we'd be back at the home faster if you weren't walking at 1mph." 

the blonde's eyes were half-open, his posture weak and dragging his feet along the ground lazily. "it's not my fault-" he mumbled drowsily, "it's not my fault you dragged me on a 5 mile walk." 

after they ate, jj forced his friend onto another of their private expeditions, claiming he owed to him. however, they hadn't realised how far they'd walked, until they were trying to make their way back. 

jj gifted him a fatigued glare, "do you ever stop complaining?" the older opened his mouth, "you know what don't even answer that."

glimpsing at simon, jj did see the distressed wrinkle between his eyebrows, exhausted legs barely working. unwillingly, he felt bad.

"i'll carry you." the younger huffed, rolling his eyes at his own stupidity. 

"you'll carry me?" simon inquired, tilting his head to the side in confusion, "but aren't you tired too?"

yeah, jj thinks, but you matter more. 

"if you complain again i might just die." he decides to say instead. "plus, i want to show you how strong i am."

the blonde nods non-chalantly, "alright, if you're offering.. i might as well."

"but," the other interjects, "if i carry you, you have to promise that you'll come on all my adventures from now on!"

simon holds out his pinky finger, "i will always come on your adventures."

"and you won't abandon me for josh?"

"i would never."

jj connects his pinky finger with his, shaking it lightly.

with that, jj trudges back to the hotel with his best friend on his back, arms draped around his neck, legs squeezing his torso; jj wonders why he did this, and also what the hell was wrong with him. 

✁ ✁ ✁

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heheh


	5. compliments & black holes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jj’s ass

chapter five: compliments & black holes  
location: barcelona, spain   
date: 13th of july 

✁ ✁ ✁

jj wonders if he's in a normal group of friends. 

despite their claim to fame, he ponders if all friends act like they do, joking around like that and at times secretly despising eachother.

he's also curious to whether friends feel certain ways about eachother, specifically the way he feels sometimes for simon. 

every now and then, his heart skips a beat, or his chest tightens when his best friend says something, or looks at him a certain way. 

jj brushes it off nevertheless, it was just him being nervous. 

he brings his attention back to his surroundings, him and his friends were gathered in a large taxi, the type that has extra seats. it was late in the evening when they were coming back from the city centre, on route back to the hotel. 

"my favourite tv show is riverdale." harry states, leaning back into his seat with confidence. 

simon scrunches up his nose in disgust, "that's the worst show ever. it's awful. in fact, you're awful." 

harry holds his chest in mock hurt, "well, in case you haven't noticed. im weird. im a weirdo."

"ew." the other cringes, feeling the urge to rip his hair out.

"alright, simon." tobi pipes up from the other side of the van, "what's your favourite show?"

the blonde looks down in thought for a few seconds, before answering, "probably sex education." 

harry boos spitefully, "no honestly it's hilarious," simon rambles on, "like there's this one scene that had me dying, i just wish jj was there.."

jj's head perks up in the mention of his name, "huh? why?"

"i don't know it's just something about you.. the scene already had me laughing, but if you were there i probably would've been cackling on the floor." he explains, scratching the back of his head shyly. 

jj smiles softly, patting the other boy's back in appreciation. his stomach feels a little queasy, but he convinces himself it's because he hasn't received a compliment in so long. 

"why jj though?" josh inquires, clearing his throat.

simon's mouth suddenly feels a bit dry, he chuckles nervously, "it's just- it's just because i love him so much, y'know?" he mumbles, trying to style it out with his hand gestures, "we connect on that different level."

jj hums, trying to save him from embarrassment, "it's different different. y'all are just jealous."

the younger boy wraps his arm around simon's shoulders, ignoring how his mind is a bit foggy and dazed with happiness. he really shouldn't be feeling this way, maybe he drank too much?

once they arrive back at the hotel, jj decides the first thing he should do is take a shower; the sun had been beating down on him all day in spain and he was sweating throughout. 

"i call dibs on the shower!" he claims as he and simon enter their room, shoving him out the way. 

"what? i wanted to go in there!" the blonde complains, attempting to run into the bathroom, however jj had already shut the door. 

jj blew a raspberry at him, stripping off his t-shirt and dropping his shorts to the marble floor. 

simon sighs from behind the door, "whatever, im going over to josh's to get snacks." 

shortly after, jj hears the front door slam shut: he turns the shower on, adjusting the temperature to cold. cautiously, he tip-toes in, briefly uncomfortable with the icy water, yet after a few seconds he enjoys it. 

jj relishes in how the frosty temperature refreshes him, makes him feel more lively and awake; he soaks his body in soap, washing all the day's sweat and dirt off him.

a few minutes later, he strides out of the shower, checking himself out shamelessly in the mirror.

jj whistles calmly to himself, pinning a towel around his waist between his thumb and forefinger. 

he recalled how at the moment simon should be in josh's room stealing food, and assumes his room his empty. smoothly, the brown-skinned boy unlocks the bathroom door, pushing it open and allowing a gush of cold air to fan out.

not bothering to look around the room, jj saunters towards his wardrobe, dropping the towel from his fingers. 

a high pitched scream erupts from near by, jj is taken by surprise, jumping around aimlessly to locate the source. 

simon shrieked from inside the room, screeching out his lungs, "why did you drop the towel?! put your dick away- jesus christ stop jumping, it's like your dick is fucking waving at me!"

the other boy stands frozen in shock for a moment, before slapping his hands infront of his private parts, "simon? why you here?!"

"because it's my room too, now can you put the towel back on!?" the blonde wails, he wanted to cry, he'd never seen an image so terrifying, the sight could've been a horror movie in itself. 

from the bed he was resting on, simon holds his hands between his knees, rocking back and forth in a ball traumatised. 

jj complies frantically, bending over to pick up the towel, "i've got it!"

simon tentatively lifts his head and peels open his eyes, thinking that jj has already put the towel back on. however, his direct line of vision is met with jj bent over and he can see straight up his hole. 

an ear-shattering cry rips from his throat, one that the whole city can likely hear, he dives desperately under his covers, trying to tear that image out of his mind. 

jj winces at the horrendous noise, reaching for the first shorts he can find and yanking them up his body. he hovers over to simon, who had a glazed over look in his eyes. 

"are you okay?" he asks carefully, placing a hand on his shoulder, "you look quite shaken up.." 

the blonde speaks in a raspy voice, "i just stared into the abyss.. it was like staring into a black hole.."

"quite literally actually." jj snickers, earning a swat on the arm from simon.

the pair slept awkwardly that night, jj wishing his penis hadn't just come from a cold shower when simon saw it. and simon thinking, despite the shock-horror of seeing his roommate naked, he wasn't too bad-looking. 

✁ ✁ ✁

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that black hole pun was my best joke ever


	6. coldness & warmth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> excuse for Simon to wear jj’s clothes

chapter six: coldness & warmth  
location: reykjavik, iceland   
date: 19th of july

✁ ✁ ✁

maybe not so surprisingly iceland was ice cold.

simon figured naively that it was august so it couldn't be that cold, right? 

he was very wrong. 

regrettably, the warmest piece of clothing simon packed was a hoodie, which was only a centimetre thick. 

so, there he was, in the bays of reykjavik with the rest of the team, only wearing a hoodie with a t-shirt underneath and annoyingly thin joggers.

contrastingly, jj had gone all out to pack. 

harry has warned jj previously about the intensely chilly atmosphere in iceland, figuring he would be the one to pack badly. 

simon wished he was there when harry and jj had that conversation.

jj was not at all a fan of cold weather, so he triple-checked he had packed 15 different woolly jumpers as well as a range of thick coats. 

it was quite the scene, when jj, with a block-like figure packed into 3 thick layers of clothing, smiled at the freezing waves crashing against the rocks on the shore beneath him, was stood next to a vigorously shivering boy who local icelandic people would consider to be practically naked. 

simon crossed his arms over his chest, rubbing his hands up and down his biceps frantically in a desperate search for warmth.

jj side-glanced him in worry for a few seconds, before deciding a skinner boy like simon was not going to survive in temperatures like this. 

"hey," jj whispered to the blonde boy, trying not to interrupt the tour guide, "let's go back to the cabin quickly and you can put another hoodie on or something." 

simon simply shook his head. "i can't, this is the only hoodie i brought.." 

jj turned his head in disbelief, "you only brought one hoodie? when you knew you were going to iceland? what kind of idiot are you?" 

"hey! how am i supposed to pack when we are going to 20 different climates! plus, no one warned me it would be this cold in july.." simon bit back harshly, still whispering. 

jj observed his idiotic friend once again, but then felt a twinge of guilt at his heart when he saw simon's legs shaking and an unhappy pout played on his face. 

he groaned dramatically, "wait here, dumbass."

jj slid around the group circle to find josh, tapping on his shoulder to get his attention. 

josh's head turned nonchalantly, "hey, simon isnt feeling too well.. you know how he gets around -um statues.. so- uh- i think we are just gonna head back to cabin for a bit, if that's alright with you?" 

"statues?" josh retorted, "he feels sick around statues?" 

"yeah, uh- something about bad childhood memories." 

"alright then," josh agreed, looking down in disbelief, "just promise me you won't get lost?"

"yes, we will meet you back there later!" jj grinned, wondering why he hadn't just told josh the truth.

maybe josh would of took care of simon himself, if he had told him.. jj figured he would do a better job at looking after him, right? 

jj retreated back to the blonde boy, surprised he had actually stayed there, like he told him to. 

"let's go," jj asserted, wrapping his hand gently around simon's small wrist.

jj walked away from the group calmly, tugging lightly on his wrist so that simon would follow him. "what- where are we going?" simon protested weakly.

"back to the cabin, so that i can get some warmth in you." jj explained, earning a series of complaints from his friend. 

"i thought i told you i only packed one hoodie, this hoodie." simon grumbled, gesturing to his shirt, "and i'm gonna' miss the city tour! i wanted to see the cathedral!"

the other rolled his eyes, "we are both going to miss the city tour, you would've missed either way because you were gonna' pass out! you should've been more prepared, you've got only yourself to blame here." he scolded, simon opened and closed his mouth a few times, but decided not to argue.

"and as for the hoodie, you can wear one of mine." 

jj swore he saw a hint of pink dusted over simon's cheeks, but convinced himself it was due to the bitter, frosty air. 

simon saw the other look at him almost expectantly, "thankyou." he grumbled.

the walk back to the cabin was longer than expected, and simon found his joints frozen up and pained, complaining even more so than he already was. 

the younger tried his hardest to contain his annoyance, but also noticed his friend becoming increasingly paler. 

once again there was a nagging, pulling sensation on his chest like he had to do something.

at this point, jj didn't know if he was annoyed at simon's non-stop complaining or at his own non-stop care for him. 

still dragging his friend by the wrist, jj stopped abruptly, letting go of his wrist and bending over. 

"um-" 

"get on my back, loser." 

simon snickered, "thank god, i was gonna say this an odd place for me to fuck you, and m'not really in the mood." 

"just get on my back, you fucking idiot." 

simon complied, hopping on his back, wrapping his legs around the boy's figure, for jj to hook his hands under his thighs and carry him. "why are you giving me a piggy back, may i ask?" 

"because you won't stop complaining, and josh is forcing me to look after you." jj half-lied, josh still thinks the blonde has hidden childhood trauma.

simon just giggled knowingly, resting his face in the crook of the other boy's neck. "you're just whipped for me, but okay, whatever you want to believe." 

"i am not whipped for you, i could drop you right now, if i wanted to!" jj mumbled spitefully.

jj figured this was the least he could do for simon, the house was only around 100m away and he couldn't be having the blonde collapsing on him any time soon. 

this is just a nice gesture, jj mentally reassured himself, i am not whipped for anyone, especially simon.

as they neared the cabin, the older boy fell half-asleep, occasionally whispering incoherently into jj's shoulder. 

jj proceeded to carry the boy inside, plopping him onto his bed and retrieving a hoodie from wardrobe. 

simon's eyes were now only half-open, half aware of what was going on, hearing his friend say 'up', and then groan and lift his arms up. 

next thing he knows, there's another hoodie on him and jj has picked him up again, this time bridal style. 

the hoodie, which was somewhat loose on jj, was oversized on simon, drowning his thin frame in material.

jj thinks about what a piece of work simon is as he carries him into the living room, thinking about how he should get payed for doing this.

he lays the tall boy onto a blanket on the couch, wrapping it around him burrito-style. jj doesn't even know if he's awake anymore, but surely he should still make him a hot drink, right? i mean that's the least he can do..

therefore, jj finds himself mustering up a hot chocolate for his friend, even going so far to add marshmallows to it. 

when he places the drink down beside the resting boy, he imagines pushing simon down a hill in his sausage-like blanket form, it probably wouldn't even hurt him. 

"simon.." jj beckons, feeling his temperature with the back of his palm on his forehead, still a little cold, "i made you a hot chocolate, ya' underserving bastard, so drink up."

the blonde boy stirs in his half-sleep, groaning tiny protests.

"sit up and drink your hot chocolate, babe." 

suddenly, jj rethinks of all the times he's called simon babe, and only simon. whatever, just straight dude things, definitely not weird at all.

simon complies, sitting up and sipping on his drink peacefully. 

"imma' just go and chill in my room for a bit.." jj says, trying to escape, trying not to let simon's pretty face influence his actions any longer.

"no, wait!" the blonde protests, pouting cutely, "can't you stay and watch a movie with me?"

simon's face always wins. 

after turning on the tv, jj sits on the couch next to simon, flicking through movie options. 

simon un-burrito-wraps-himself out of the blanket, shifting over to the other side of the couch. 

oh fuck oh shit oh fuck, jj mentally panics. 

simon wraps his arms around jj's bulky waist and snuggles into him, jj knew he would want to cuddle. 

once again, resistance does not last long for jj, easily giving in and draping his toned arms around simon.

jj pulls the blanket over them, "we're watching terminator." he states. 

"aww, but i wanted to watch the notebook.." 

"fine, we'll watch that stupid, sappy, shit."

✁ ✁ ✁

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i want to move to iceland one day, but I’m a pussy and i can’t stand cold weather


	7. snowflakes & close calls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> oop oop oop

chapter seven: snowflakes & close calls  
location: reykjavik, iceland  
date: 21st of july

✁ ✁ ✁

"hey bitch, wanna make a snowman?" jj invites ethan excitedly, hanging at his doorframe. 

it was snowing in iceland, much to jj's joy, so he decided he couldn't let this opportunity pass without smashing a snowball into one of his friend's faces. 

ethan, who was chilled out on his bed, glanced up from his phone for a second. "no." he grunted miserably. 

jj shrugged, "your loss." next, he races to the kitchen, "harry, fancy a snowball fight?"

"sorry, not right now, maybe later jj." harry smiles apologetically, munching down on a sandwich. 

pouting, jj roams to the living room, muttering under his breath, "you old fucks are no fun." 

he spots simon lying on the sofa, peering at the ceiling in boredom. perfect.

"simon, simon!" jj rushes up to him, shaking his shoulders, "it's snowing outside!" 

the blonde matches his energy, shooting up in a thrilled manner, "let's go!"

"si, i need help sorting out the plane tickets for next week," josh interrupts, trudging into the room with a crinkle between his eyebrows and papers in his hands, "can you help me?"

jj and simon share a look, "in a bit, me and jj are gonna go outside." 

"alright, but be quick.." josh frowns, lurking off to somewhere else.

the boys darted outside to the cabin's small garden, jj launching into the air and crashing into the deep layer of snow that coated the grass. 

simon laughed at him, falling back into the snowfall and creating his own snowangel.

they played like little kids for a long time, then jj grabbed a chunk of snow and rolled it into a ball. he lobbed it at simon's face, causing a smack and absolutely annihilating the attacked boy.

"ow! you could've killed me, asshole!" simon shrieked dramatically, bending down to get revenge, "so you wanna play like that, huh?" 

simon harshly launched a snowball back at him, watching with evil happiness as it belted into jj's stomach. 

jj gasped, cowering like he just took a body shot, "jesus!" he looked at his friend wickedly, sprinting forward to tackle him. 

the blonde screeched, luckily managing to move out of the way as jj tried to grab him. 

soon, they had worn out the snow into a mushy sludge, and jj still hadn't been able to take down simon. "simon! are you done yet? you're taking forever." josh yelled, peeling his head around the frame of the back door.

simon went to answer him, but jj took his distraction as an opportunity to finally push him onto the ground. the older gasped, quickly standing back up, whilst josh left with a roll of his eyes. 

"you dick! im cold now!" simon cries, gesturing to his drenched hoodie and rubbing his hands up and down his arms for warmth. 

"psshh," jj sniggers, "you're always cold."

simon looks up at him bleakly, blue eyes big with woe. the blonde mumbles despondently, "no but im like, really, really cold."

"so sad." jj hums scornfully. 

"really, really, really cold." simon whines, jumping up and down in the spot and splashing watery snow everywhere. 

jj thought he looked stupid, nevertheless dainty and childishly cute. 

the younger rolls his eyes, opening up his arms. simon grins widely, dashing into his chest and stuffing his face into his thick jacket. 

jj chuckles, wrapping his arms around the cold boy, "jeez, you're such a big baby." 

caressing his gloved hands up and down his back, jj's expression beams; his heart felt a little lighter now. 

he observes the world around them, snowflakes softly falling from the gentle grey sky: the white specks were dusted in simon's dirty blonde hair, before they melted away. 

simon claimed he was chilly, but jj felt his warmth radiating through his clothes- he wondered if he was actually cold at all. did he just want jj to hold him? jj wouldn't be surprised. 

"if this were a romance movie, this would be the part where we kiss." jj jokes, seeing simon look up at him with his eyebrows raised. 

"think' you need to calm down. i know you watched 'love, simon' the other day, but don't start getting any ideas." the older snickers, squeezing his arms around his torso. 

"are you sure because-" jj quips mischievously, puckering up his lips into a duck face, acting as if he was going to kiss him. 

simon grimaces, hitting his chest, "gross, no way in hell am i kissing you."

"what? why not? im a great kisser!" the other urges, feeling somewhat hurt. then quickly shutting up, because he realises he sounds eager. 

"i seriously doubt it;" giggling, simon stares at his lips for a few seconds, "your fat lips would probably smother mine."

jj glowers at him, "i'll have you know im a great kisser, thankyou very much. girls tell me it all the time." 

jj recalls the times he'd be in bed with a girl, her running her acrylic-nailed hand down his chest, whispering praises into his ear. you're so funny, jj. gosh, you're so handsome. wow you're such a good kisser. 

it got boring quickly. 

"yep, and then they asked for an instagram shoutout afterwards, didn't they?" simon smirked, knowingly. 

hey, could i get a twitter follow? it would be nice if you followed my insta.. maybe you could shout me out on your story? 

"fuck you, si. you're a little shit." jj grumbles. 

yet instead of pushing him away, or maybe back into the snow like he should've of; jj draws him in closer, hugs him tighter, pinches his petite waist. 

"im better than you," jj challenges, before clarifying, "at kissing, i mean your lips are too thin. it's like what are you even kissing at this point?"

simon glares back at him, "im an amazing kisser, you're just insecure."

an idea pops into jj's head, a bad one, one that he wishes didn't enter his thoughts. there's something about this moment though, something that makes him believe it might be a good idea. 

simon's gazing into his eyes, there's a look in his eyes that jj can't quite decipher. his nose is pink in the frosty atmosphere, lips bitten red.

jj's eyes keep flickering back and forth between his eyes and his lips, "i could show you." 

simon's eyes widen, pupils dilating, lips parted slightly, "what?"

too late to back down now, jj thinks. 

"i could show you.. how good a kisser i am." 

suddenly, the expression on simon's face changes from a flustered mess to a smirk. "you gonna' prove it to me?" 

"maybe i will.." jj draws his lip in between his teeth. 

cockily, simon tilts his head to the side, "maybe i'll let you."

jj slowly nods, leaning closer and closer to him until he can smell his strawberry shampoo. simon's hands slide up his shoulders to cup his face, his thumb delicately grazing over jj's ear. 

jj feels the anticipation creeping through his veins, and he's wondering why he hasn't pulled away. 

most importantly, he's wondering why he doesn't want to.

simon pulls jj's head towards his own, their lips are only a centimetre away from eachother: jj closes his eyes. 

"simon, man! what's taking you so long? come and help me already!" 

they flinch apart. 

simon stumbles away, nearly slipping on the snow, "just a minute!" he calls back, eyeing jj suspiciously. 

the younger boy desperately looks away, chuckling nervously, "ha! th-that was weird.."

"sure was!" simon presses his lips together, forcefully smiling. 

"sorry about that, i uh- haven't been with a girl in months! guess i'm just going crazy.." jj stammers, scratching the back of his neck. 

"right! totally, i get that!" simon assures, frantically nodding his head, "well, i'm gonna go and help josh, and you can just- yeah.." he says, before hurrying inside. 

jj is left alone in the garden, clenching his hands into fists, "fuck!"

✁ ✁ ✁

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope y’all are mad


	8. avoiding & books

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jj and Simon denying they’re gay for ten minutes straight

chapter eight: avoiding & books  
location: toronto, canada   
date: 3rd of august

✁ ✁ ✁

jj laid on top of his bed, staring up at the hotel ceiling above him. just like the bed next to him was, jj felt empty. 

ever since their awkward, almost-kiss encounter, simon and jj had barely talked; they'd exchanged a few words, but never got into conversation. 

simon especially went out of his way to avoid the other boy, deliberately sitting the furthest away from him or leaving when jj turned up.

meeting eachother was inevitable though when they went to bed; even then the boys wouldn't talk and would just face away from eachother. 

as part of his desperate avoidance, simon would wake up particularly early and go to bed late, hoping his roommate would be asleep. on the other hand, jj felt low when he woke up and simon wasn't in the bed opposite to him. 

that's why, the younger boy promised himself he would get simon back today, he would get his best friend back.

brought out of his daydreams, jj hears keys jangle and the creak of a doorframe. 

"simon!" jj called, lurching into a sitting position with wide eyes.

the blonde stood in the doorway, hoodie draped over his frame and a small frown on his lips. the tall boy sighs, snatching his wallet off the counter, which he must have forgotten. 

for once, simon gives jj a pitiful smile, mumbling back, "i'll see you later, jide.."

"wait!" jj urged, trying to stand up but his body is trapped in the comfort of his duvet, "where are you-"

quickly, the door clicks shut and jj is left in loneliness of his own thoughts again. 

he decides to take a direct course of action, shooting up from his bed and hauling on the first clothes he can find in his wardrobe.

jj dashes to the elevator, endures some annoyingly calm elevator music and makes his way to the lobby. this is where the group would mainly hang out, so unsurprisingly he finds josh. 

"do you know where simon went?" jj asks, out of breath. 

the older boy looks him up and down, feels a bit offended to not even get a hello first, but nevertheless replies, "to the city libary i think, said' he was going to go and get some peace and quiet or something."

"that's weird, simon hasn't been to a libary in.. in 27 years.." 

josh doesn't seem to care too much, he shrugged, "eh, what do i know? he's responsible, i only care about whether he comes back to the hotel by 8." 

jj presses his lips together, a thought coming to his mind, "city library, you say?"

✁ ✁ ✁

standing in front of jj is the huge, city   
libary building with wide windows peering in to the place. jj could understand why simon would want to come here, it truly was a place for peace and quiet. 

he breathes in deep, meandering in and hopelessly searching for his friend. 

soon enough, jj spots simon tucked away into the corner of the building, face engulfed in a book. jj scoffs, when has simon ever read a book? 

the blonde boy sees him from the corner of his eye; jj sees a fleeting expression of panic show on his features and his lips mutter a curse. 

in a pursuit of terrible acting, simon pretends he didn't see jj and stumbles away from his table and down one of the libary's endless isles.

jj begins to get a little agitated by his friend, since he could've sworn simon initiated the kiss in the first place.

groaning, jj chases after the boy, until they are literally just a few metres apart, both speed-walking. 

"hey buddy! friend, platonic friend of mine!" jj cheered, engulfing simon in a hug from behind. 

"oh hey jj, didn't see you there.." simon grumbled, trying his best to writhe his way out of jj's hold.

jj allows him to turn around and face him, "yeah, fancy seeing you here!" 

"well, you know me..," the older boy forcefully smiles, glancing up to see which isle section they were in, "just a huge.. cook book.. reader.." 

"right. me too?" simon spins on his heels and continues down the long isle. jj walks beside him, observing him, yet simon's gaze remains preoccupied, "you know, there's this crazy suspicion i have.. that maybe- just maybe for the past few days you've been avoiding me- but obviously not-"

the blonde boy nervously chuckles, biting his lip, "nope. definitely was not. that's totally absurd. don't know where you got that from-"

"of course! that would be silly, because you have no reason to avoid me, right? because nothing happened.." jj chides, persuasive tone prominent in his voice. he hopes to convince simon that their friendship shouldn't be affected by the almost-kiss. it wasn't like their lips even touched in the first place.

as a sign of agreement, simon nods frantically, saying in an overly-energetic voice, "true! nothing weird happened last week, in fact i dont even remember anything from the last few days!" 

"me too! so, i think we should just.. pretend like those last few days never existed at all?" the younger suggests, raising his eyebrows in question.

"that, my friend," simon emphasises the word 'friend', "is a very good idea."

simon takes the time to rake his eyes over him, pursing his lips, "by the way.. what the hell are you wearing?" 

jj furrows his eyebrows, glancing down at himself, and taking a double take when he sees a neon colours. in his hurry to catch up with simon, jj hadn't seen that he'd thrown on pink swimming shorts and a bright green t-shirt. 

"it's the new style," the younger boy jokingly sasses, "you wouldn't know."

"whatever," simon breathes in a moment of doubt, "im thirsty, buy me coffee."

later on, jj does so; finding himself in a starbucks that the blonde had dragged him to. he secretly wants a pinkity drinkity, but orders a coke in a feign of manliness. 

the boys settle down on a high table, since jj insists on sitting on the high stools. asking in curiosity, the younger speaks, "what were you reading back there?" 

"i-" simon opens his mouth and then closes it a few times, "none of your business, bitch." 

"wow aren't you fun to talk to." jj scoffs, easing back into his seat with new-found comfort.

"shut up." the blonde chimes. 

"just tell me, what where you reading? bro, you never read." jj pushes, wondering why he was so defensive.

"no, i don't want to, it's embarrassing.." simon mutters, looking away distantly.

jj can only assume one thing, "so... it was porn?" 

"oh my g- no! why is it always about porn with you?" simon scowls, sipping on his iced latte through a plastic straw.

jj stares at his lips around the straw for a moment, realises what he was looking at and flinches, "why shouldn't it be?" the older boy snorts. 

"jj?" simon suddenly changes his tone to a soft one, his blue eyes meet jj's with a look of hesitation, "are we really gonna act like-"

"shush shush shush," the other boy hushes, placing a smooth finger on simon's lips which is slapped off, "nothing happened, remember?" 

uncertainly, simon looks down and gulps, "right.."

✁ ✁ ✁

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> am i proud of this chapter? no.


	9. cities & fake dates

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jj is a tumblr girl im telling you 😔

chapter nine: cities & fake dates  
location: new york, usa  
date: 15th of august

✁ ✁ ✁

"im really good at first dates, girls always stick around for a second one.. that's when i screw it up." simon boasted to josh, his legs pulled up onto the glass table between them, scrolling through his twitter aimlessly. 

josh jerked his head up and down, seeming not to care; he was studying the newspaper laid out on the table, playing up to his old character. 

jj overheard their conversation from where he was sprawled out in a tub chair, he snorted in disbelief, "you're shit at first dates, ive seen it first hand." 

"fuck off, jj." the blonde retaliated, not glancing up from his phone, "you've seen nothing."

simon seemed to be engulfed into his iphone, likewise the rest of jj's friends in the hotel room. that was despite josh, who had a reputation of boringness anyway. 

jj felt a little desperate for a conversation, being the only one with his attention not captivated. and who was a better subject to annoy than your best friend?

"nah, bro. ive seen you being awkward as hell, saying something stupid and making the girl lowkey uncomfortable." the younger boy tried to irritate his older friend, leaning forward in his seat cockily. 

simon actually looked up this time, whipping his head back with a hollow glare, "that was one time, idiot. plus," he crooked a slender finger towards jj with a little smirk, "you haven't seen me using my charm." 

"what charm? you call it charm when you tried to impress that one girl by eating cardboard-" jj raised his eyebrows at him, smug grin plastered all over his features.

automatically, simon's mouth fell open at the mention of that one incident. "i was drunk!" he defended as josh gave him a weird look from across the table.

"pshh.." jj hummed, glazing his tongue over his lip with satisfaction. 

the older boy was now officially agitated, he frowned at jj, "you can't talk, you have one date with a girl and she ends up blocking you after." 

"mistakes gets made in the process, pal." jj speaks as if he's an old mentor, if he was next to simon right now he'd be patting his back degradingly, "my first dates have a 99% success rate!"

simon cackles, "are you sure abo-" 

josh slams his newspaper onto the table in an attempt to intimidate the boys and gain their attention, but it just makes them giggle.

"can you two shut the fuck up? like seriously im in pain? my head physically hurts? if one of you was a girl i'd say you have some mad sexual tension." the oldest boy complains, banging his forehead on the table for emphasis. 

jj and simon share an awkward side-glance, then both look away. 

"shut up josh," the blonde boy gushes defensively, "you ditched your girlfriend of nine years to go on a shitty trip." 

josh crosses his arms over his chest, a crease between his eyebrows, "this is not a shitty trip-" 

"everyone shut up!" tobi barks from the bed he previously had his face stuffed into, unlike josh he manages to frighten everyone, "josh, this trip isn't shit. simon and jj- go on a date or something to sort your shit out." 

"a date? but im not g-" simon's cheeks flush a shade of red, while jj thanks his dark complexion for masking his own blush.

rolling his eyes, tobi grumbles, "a fake date, dumbass. maybe you can see who's better at first dates.."

"i don't want to." simon immediately retorts. 

jj pokes his tongue in cheek, he wanted to. 

simon had his bottom lip jutted out; jj didn't even care about who was better at dating, he was just searching for an excuse for the blonde to talk to him.

so he did the best he could to trigger him. "please, you're just scared because you know im better than you."

"no, i just don't want to go on a date with you."

simon had his features scrunched up in utter disgust: jj felt his heart grow a little heavier.

jj flinched,"why are you backing out then?" 

simon being the stubborn guy he is, was quite offended by this statement. "i am not backing out- fine, since you're so desperate, we can go on fake dates." 

the younger smiled in victory, "im not des-"

"shut up!" tobi yelled, lobbing a pillow at jj. 

✁ ✁ ✁

the city streets were bustling and busy, people were shoving eachother around as they tried to get to their destinations. the ground was still wet from when it had rained earlier, so sometimes puddles would splash up onto the boys' legs and soak their trousers.

simon looked forward at the crowded mess of a street with his lost big blue eyes, then at jj with anxiety. as a sign of reassurance, jj offers him a small kind smile. 

jj engulfed simon's small hand with his big one, leading him through the large crowds. 

if simon asked why he was holding his hand, it was because he didn't want him to get lost amongst all the strangers. jj, though, knew deep down that wasn't the only reason. 

as he strided along the street he could hear simon's tiny huffs and groans from behind him every so often as a stranger bumped into him. jj hoped where he was taking him would be able to cheer him up.

it was a few days after tobi had suggested they go on fake dates to determine who was better at planning first dates, tonight was jj's turn. 

as he was speeding past people, jj realised how great a wingman tobi could potentially be. he glances back at his blonde friend for a millisecond and ponders if tobi set them up.. surely not. 

jj and simon were straight after all, obviously. i like vagina, jj briefly reminded himself.

"where are we going?" simon inquired from behind, half-shouting over the loud street noise. 

jj paused in his tracks at a traffic light, making simon jolt to a stop too, "you ask that a lot, don't you?" he observed. 

the blonde glared at him, pulling his hood up with the hand that jj wasn't holding, he argued "you drag me to a lot of places where i dont know where im going." 

"are you always moody on dates?" jj squeezed his hand, realising the older was still grumpy from when his feet got wet in a puddle earlier.

"h-" simon went to reply, but was caught off guard when jj suddenly yanked him across the crossing as a green light emitted.

"seriously, where are we going?" simon asked again, practically jogging to keep up with the younger.

the younger boy hummed, choosing to answer. "to watch some stars, innit bruv." 

"ew that's so cheesy." simon scrunched up his nose, grimacing.

"nah, it's cute, babe." jj assured, trying to form a mini barricade in the street so simon wouldn't get shoved.

"i don't like it when you're romantic," the blonde boy conveyed, shifting his head to the side, "kind of creepy." 

"what the hell," jj spluttered, clutching his chest in mock-offence, "im never taking you on a date again." he declares, storming ahead even faster to annoy the other. 

"i didn't plan to go on another one with you." simon laughs harshly, there's no softness in his voice.

jj wonders why his heart feels heavy, it's a fake date, you shouldn't be disappointed.

"whatever." 

✁ ✁ ✁

"that's mars."

"what's mars?" the slender boy echoed. 

jj had dragged him to a park, climbed up a hill and then retrieved a blanket from his backpack. he laid the purple cloth out, convinced simon to lay down next to him to watch the tranquil sky.

the night was still and serene, you could only distantly hear the bellow of the city. it was a nice break.

jj wraps his big hands around simon's and points his finger at a red dot in the sky. "that." 

"oh." simon laid his hand back onto the blanket, for jj to place his on top of his.

"see it's small and red like you." the shorter of the two remarked ironically, a sly smirk on lips.

"im not small, you're literally 5'11!" simon scoffed, reminding jj of the fact that, despite his claims, he was not 6ft.

"sure you're tall, but width-wise you're small, si." jj explained, turning his head to the side to gaze at his 'date'.

simon slipped his hand out from underneath jj's; he rested it on his flat stomach, tapping his long fingers up and down. "im not red." he muttered.

"you're red because you're always angry." jj chuckled. 

"i am not always angr-" 

"that's uranus." jj gestured to a blue glow in the sky, his eyes were glazed over, appearing to be genuinely in awe.

"sick." simon deadpanned.

jj smirked, "do you want to know my favourite thing about uranus?" simon definitely did not, but he was sure jj would say it anyway.

"if it's a shitty joke, this date is gonna end with a murder." the blonde threatened, crooning a stern finger at the younger.

"no no. see, my favourite thing about uranus is that it rains diamonds!" the brown-eyed boy enthused, geeky grin painted on his face; it made simon nostalgic of when they were still in school together. 

"oh, that's cool, i guess." simon chewed onto his bottom lip, surprised jide didn't make a dumb joke.

"did you hear though," the younger changed to a serious tone, fear struck in his voice, "nasa thinks uranus will be destroyed soon.." 

"seriously? by what?" simon's eyes were wide, pink lips parted. 

"me."

"wha- wait." simon gasped, proceeding to viciously attack jj's forearm with slaps. 

"ow!" jj screeched, cowering away, "stop hitting me, im sorry!" 

"if this was a real date, i'd leave right now." the blonde huffed, pressing his thin lips into a straight line.

the younger smiles, scooting back towards his friend, "im happy it's not then."

"what's that?" simon quizzes, pointing to another red speck in the view.

"venus." jj answers.

"ah, what's that?" this time he points out a yellow-ish dot.

"jupiter."

"mhmm, and what's that?" simon shuffled closer, extending his finger to a particularly interesting star.

jj snorted, throwing his head back in laughter, "that's just a plane, dumbass."

"shut up, how am i supposed to know?" the older boy scowls, shoulders drooping, "im not an astrology nerd like you." 

"it was flashing red and blue and moving really fast-" the other boy snickers.

"shut up." 

"you see that teeny tiny bright line?" the tip of jj's finger is noting something, yet simon can only see darkness.

"no." he frowns.

jj moves his finger a touch, "there." 

simon still can't see anything, he juts his bottom lip out, "i don't see it."

"are your eyes broken or something, dumb bitch?" the younger snaps, slapping his hand back down to the ground.

"im leavin-" simon sits up, only to be drawn back down by his fake-date.

"no, stay! m' sorry." jj begs, giving him a side hug. 

the pale boy sighs, rotating and shuffling so his head is lying on jj's stomach. "show me the bright line again.."

"it-" the other stutters, feeling a bit flustered, "it's right about- here."

"ahhh, okay." the older gasps, sea-blue eyes lightening up, "what is it?"

jj is about 99 percent sure that he's lying, that simon still doesn't see it, but he says anyway, "that's the andromeda galaxy. it's the only galaxy you can see from the naked eye." 

the darker boy mentally thanks his 2013 astronomy tumblr blog, otherwise he wouldn't be able to spew out all these facts.

"bullshit, you can't see a whole 'nother galaxy without a telescope." simon chastises,pursing his lips in disbelief.

"sure you can," jj palms his friend's soft hair, "look you saw it yourself."

"i was lying. i didn't see jack shit." 

"i knew you were lying!" the younger exclaims in outrage, gently swatting the blonde's head.

"i don't think we'll be having a second date." simon announces, words dripping in sarcasm.

"no shit. i'll be leaving a bad review on your tinder." jj tuts with a shake of his head.

they sit in silence for a few moments, before a drop of water splats onto the dead-centre of simon's forehead, "fuck, it's raining." he groans.

"no, it's not." jide reassures, praying that at least one thing doesn't go wrong on this date, "that was just some of god's pee."

all of sudden, rain starts crashing down; jj figures he should've guessed that it would rain again earlier, "wow, god must of been holding in for a long time huh." simon remarked, glowering at the younger.

"okay, maybe we should leave." jj suggests, pushing simon off him to stand up, his clothes getting increasingly wetter.

the blonde nods, as jj offers him a hand to stand up. 

"i hate this date!" the tall boy cries, going to straighten out his shirt, but it's drenched, "look, im wet."

since the opportunity was there. "that's what she-" 

"that's it!" simon yells, surging towards jide, who runs away in panic.

"ahh! don't hurt me!" jj screams, rain getting into his mouth, "i have so much left to do with my life!" 

"have mercy! this date can no longer be romantic if you kill me!" he pleads, his date-turned-attacker coming closer and closer.

"it cant be romantic if we're both soaking wet either." simon snarks, raking his wet locks back.

the younger boy starts to do the robot in front of him, followed by what simon can only hope is the harlem shake. "what? are you okay? is this a seizure-"

"m' dancing!" jj exclaimed enthusiastically. 

"you call that dancing?" the older teased, smiling at his friend gallop in the rain.

"dance with me!" jj encouraged.

"no."

"come on, loser, dance!" the younger shouted, now doing outdated fornite dances.

"how about no."

"please!" he begged, extending a hand to the older.

"hmm, let me see.. no."

jj grabbed simon's hand, pulling him into his chest and placing his hand on the small of his back.

"ah-" the blonde squeaked, face going red, "what are you doing!"

"we're dancing." jj said simply.

"this is- ah ah ah- don't drop me!" simon squealed as jide leaned forward, to bend the older backwards.

"i won't, doll." jj just mentally bitch-slapped himself, because what the hell was that? stop treating this like it's an actual date. 

maybe some part of jj thought simon was pretty, but he's not a girl. and girls,, are what i like.

"how are you so good at this?" the taller of two questions as he is twirled around.

"i took ballroom classes as a kid." jj reveals.

"really? i didn't know that." simon raises his eyebrows, meeting jj's soft eyes with his own.

"i like to remain mysterious." the younger winks, making simon grimace.

"ew, don't ever wink again." he complains, looking away.

"okay."

there's a rumble in the sky, interrupting their thoughts, perhaps signalling the end of the night.

"not like im not enjoying this," simon speaks, and jj doesn't know whether that was sarcastic or not, "but i think we should leave before we get struck by lightning."

"agreed, im ending the date here." jj lets go of him, pondering if he should pack up his soaking blanket or give up on it.

"we're back to ourselves now,we're just friends now." simon seems to make the decision for him, cringing as he puts it in a bin. 

"what were we on the date then?" jj asks, carefully treading down the hill.

simon shrugs, joking, "in love."

✁ ✁ ✁

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that was long, apologies

**Author's Note:**

> hello🧡!!
> 
> ty for reading this first chap 🥰🥰
> 
> sorry if it's v confusing and bad this is my 2am writing👺
> 
> leave some hate or nice comments pls 😧✌🏼
> 
> I'm not that good at writing first chapters so forgive me 😔
> 
> love u, naz💚


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